When love beckons to you, follow him.
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you,
yield to him.

Though the sword hidden
among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you,
believe in him.
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the North wind
lays waste the garden.

– Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

This book is about how to create more harmonious relationships.  I’ve included a large amount of information on how to work with sound, music and vibration to create more peace in yourself and in your relationships.  Some of this information comes from my book The Complete Guide to Sound Healing, which is the #1 selling book in the field of Sound Healing.  In addition there are many new techniques using sound and music to support resolving conflicts by resonating more peace, harmony, flow and love with others — physically, mentally, emotionally and Spiritually.

Vibration is the basis of all reality.
When you understand the laws of vibration
you have the key to the Universe. 

 We are all dying to be loved.

Every human being wants to be loved, respected, heard, 
treated fairly and truthfully and
wants the same for their loved ones.

As babies, we can die if not loved.  And the more love we get, the healthier we become  both emotionally and physically.

Love is all we need.

I am not claiming to be an expert on relationships – I definitely have not completely figured them out (I’m sure I might hear from some of my past relationships).  However, I have been around the block and have studied many other books and frameworks on how to manage conflicts and nurture healthy relationship dynamics.  

I also learned a lot from writing my book, The Complete Guide to Sound Healing.  Working with Sound over the last 20 years has opened my heart, helped it heal beyond measure, and has added a whole new dimension to my relationships.  All that I experience and am integrating from my love of relationships with sound, people and life itself, is the inspiration for this book.  

My intention is to share a wide range of perspectives and approaches that I have learned from over the years.  Throughout the book, what I share might appear to be conflicting ideas, as sometimes I don’t know the answer, and sometimes the answer is different in different situations.  I will also let you know the areas that I’m still figuring out myself.

Most importantly, this book is about being whole on your own and how to connect and run love while in relationships.  It is about how to create more peace, harmony and flow, which is not only good for loving relationships but also good for friends and business relationships. 

Here is an overview of each section.

Being Whole on Your Own, Heart Open, is the primary theme throughout the book.

We cover many techniques to help with communication and conflicts but until you do your own personal work, your stuff will keep getting in the way.  Therefore, most of this book is about how to be at peace within yourself.  Not only does this create more harmonious relationships … inner peace is so attractive!

It is about non-attachment – in a healthy way.

It is about how to be Whole and Heart Open on your own so when you come to a relationship there is no neediness – no expectations or need for someone to love you and there is peace.

When two whole people come together in peace in themselves, Heart Open, OMG … What can happen?

It seems so simple, but it is so hard to do for most people, particularly because it is not the norm in our society.  In the media and movies, romance and attachment is the norm.  It is all about finding the one, or losing the one.   

We commonly grieve so much when there is loss of a loved one (not that grieving is bad … not at all, in fact it is natural).  However, there is so much pressure to find a mate that people don’t feel comfortable being on their own.

We don’t know how to love ourselves.
We don’t know how to run Universal Love through our system.
We don’t know how to be One with the Universe
where we are completely filled with Indescribable Love. 

When we are filled with love
merging with another
who is also filled with love
is unbelievable.

There is nothing better.

In the first Section, “Whole on Your Own and Heart Open,” begins with how to be non-attached to someone you are involved with so you are ultimately never stressed by the relationship.

Since being healthy on your own is the first step, we provide many ways to be more whole physically, mentally, emotionally and Spiritually.  We also incorporate many sound techniques on healthy wholeness directly from my book, The Complete Guide to Sound Healing. 

Any dissonance you have in your own system
will manifest in the relationship –
often exponentially. 

Any peace, harmony and flow
within yourself
will manifest in the relationship –
often exponentially.

We then address the conundrum that we have an innate desire to connect vs. being non-attached. We are social animals built to procreate. Therefore, being whole is sometimes at odds with these deep urges. This can be a tricky balance.  It is also important to take care of yourself before loving others.  So many lose track of their own being as they “give themself away” by loving others too much.  It can be so exhausting.

Moreover, to be Whole on Your Own requires being able to conceptualize your best self and how you would like to be in the world.  Then, how to make changes so you are more in alignment with what you would like to be.  Therefore, you can love yourself even more.  These techniques are really important because changing yourself is not easy. 

We then go into many techniques for being at peace in yourself.  We discuss this in terms of your own frequency or home note and how you can use it to get back to peace in your whole body.  We share many techniques (often with sound) to overcome difficult emotions and negative beliefs about yourself.

Being at peace in the midst of any challenge or conflict is the ideal. This is full mastery of your mental and emotional bodies. We share 11 sound techniques for being at peace – no matter what is going on.  This is so important for both challenges in relationships and all of those we encounter in the world. 

Finally, we discuss how to love yourself more, including accessing Universal Love and Oneness. 

Some people are afraid to love for the first time, or have had such bad experiences they are afraid to love again.  We discuss how to overcome this so you feel safe to explore and open up again.

Deciding if a person is the right one in order to continue exploration and/or to go to the next step can be very challenging.  This section explores how to figure this out. 

There are two main ways people decide – chemistry or making a list of all the positives and negatives – including any deal breakers.  We go into detail on how to calculate whether a relationship makes sense.  But, then there is the beautiful, dangerous and disarming aspect of chemistry that many find hard to fight, including the best (or worst) Soul Mates and Twin Flames.  We share ideas on how to use both chemistry and your list together when deciding in order to make the decision as coherent as possible. 

We also share the information on personality types and different attachment types that can affect compatibility.

Finally, we cover how to set an intention and visualize to help manifest a harmonious relationship, while at the same time trusting that you have help from Spirit.  When you realize and embody the fact that you are completely taken care of, all stress goes away.

In this section we look at how to navigate the flowing and changing nature of getting to know someone and getting involved.  All of the uncertainty and desire can be very difficult to deal with on both sides, especially since things can change at any moment, and even change back the next. 

First, we talk about how to overcome expectations that can be so problematic.  

We then discuss the definition of different levels of relationships from ”just met” to marriage and kids. This can be very tricky since people commonly disagree on the names and definitions of the levels and status of the relationship. 

In this section we cover how to communicate cleanly, clearly and effectively and not be reactive to any criticism.  This is an important section since it is commonly the #1 issue that breaks up relationships.  The ideal is to be able to work out any issue and come to a resolve where love can flow freely again.

We begin with how important it is to get on the same side instead of being adversaries. This is the key ingredient in most books on relationships.  In fact, I believe you shouldn’t even talk until you are on the same side. 

We then discuss the most important underlying issue of all – Respect. Disrespectful energy commonly manifests nonverbally in most communications, particularly when a discussion gets heated.  We cover how to see a so-called weakness in the other as a learning challenge or experience.  This also means being aware of your own vulnerabilities and criticalness.  We also look at the tone (or song you sing when speaking) when being critical. We are hypersensitive to such a tone.  As you learn to change your song to kindness and love, the other feels respected.  

Many books talk about filling up the vase with sweet and positive words and actions towards the other in order to have more leeway when things go awry.

There are many levels of communication that are not upfront that we are all aware of.  For example, a person’s intention behind a communication is really important, but it is often only felt energetically.  If someone has a bad or selfish intention, then they will commonly get a negative reaction no matter how they say it.  It is important to be aware of all levels of communication.  We identify 5 levels besides the actual message and how to navigate conflicting messages. 

We then focus on how to bring something up and say it in a clean way when you are scared of getting a negative or even violent reaction.  And then most importantly, we discuss 15 different ways that you can react to criticism.  To be non-reactive is critical for harmony.  In fact, the ideal is to actually invite and be grateful for any ideas on how you might make changes in your life.   Then you are working together to grow in the sweetest way.

Finally, we go into detail on all the ways to get to a resolve, where we can relax and love again.   We share many techniques on how to communicate on an  energy level; for example, sending love silently, or talking to the other person’s higher self.

In this section we look at how to decide whether to stay in a relationship or not.  We then cover how to end a relationship or how to deal with being dumped. 

Then we discuss how to work with grief (with sound also).  Finally, we look at the illusion of loneliness and the wonderful advantages of being on your own.

We look at how to play and express more love – particularly with sound.  We explore how to use specific frequencies, pitches, timbres, musical intervals, and music associated with love to resonate more in your relationship.

We show you how to send and receive love, and how to just be love.  Then, most importantly, how to love anyway when you aren’t receiving love. This includes how to find more gratitude for your partner and even make the sound of it. 

There are many techniques for using sound to enhance the love making process. There is nothing better than the sound of love on the body.

Finally, we explore ways to raise your love up to the level of Universal Love, and how to incorporate this as a Spiritual practice in your life on your own and/or together. 

In the Spiritual arena, “glamor” is what happens when you obtain a high Spiritual perspective on life and the Universe then look down on yourself or others when not there. 

In this final section we now consider, now that you have these full range of techniques down, how to have compassion for those that don’t, or for yourself when you forget.